Some time ago I did a post about me being on depression meds and not liking the feeling it gave me...well, more like I didn't like the feeling it TOOK away from me. While on the meds I couldn't FEEL anything. No sadness, no anger, no happiness....nothing. It wasn't a pleasant feeling and I made mention that I'd rather feel pain than to not feel anything. Fast forward to the here and now... I still believe that FEELING your emotions is better than NOT feeling them at all but with my state of mind being what it has been for the past couple of months, I would gladly be comfortably numb for just awhile

 

 

 

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

This was my list of things to get done....

1. HOPEFULLY finish helping my mom with the relative ordeal. The snow they are calling for this weekend puts a huge kink in that plan . Once the relative ordeal is taken care of then I need to help my mom get some of her house back in order. She had new hardwood floors put in last week so everything needs to be put back........I SOOOOO SUCK AT BEING A GOOD DAUGHTER. I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN MY MOM'S NEW FLOORS MUCH LESS HELP HER PUT HER HOUSE BACK IN ORDER AND THE RELATIVE ORDEAL WAS FINISHED WITHOUT ME MAINLY DUE TO THE SNOW AND ME NOT BEING ABLE TO GET THERE.

2. Make an appointment with the eye doctor. I can't see very well at all even with my glasses on anymore....I'M STILL SEEING FUZZY SHAPES

3. Make an appointment with family doctor so I can waste my money for him to tell me he has no reason why my face is drying out so badly and then refer me to a dermatologist....STILL CARRYING AROUND DRY SKIN CELLS

4. Sit down and figure out exactly when a few of my bills will be paid in full. I know it's the first half of the year but I need to pinpoint it down to my last payment so I will have something to look forward to....THIS I ACTUALLY TOOK CARE OF AND NOW I HAVE THOSE FINAL DATES ENGRAVED INTO MY BRAIN

5. I need to go visit my aunt. Just because...DAMN....I SOOO SUCK AT BEING A GOOD NIECE TOO

6. My son will turn 18 in March. I need to get him something pretty cool for his "big" birthday. I don't have a clue what that might be but that's what this list is for. Think Sybil..think!!!....OK...BIRTHDAY CAME AND WENT. NO HUGE BIRTHDAY PRESENT BUT A NICE BIRTHDAY. WE LET HIM OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR AND HE HAD THE WHOLE WEEKEND FROM RESTRICTION...LOL...SEE..I CAN BE NICE

7. I need to buy a gift for a bridal shower I will be attending in two weeks I'm broke. I wonder if an IOU would be inappropriate....DIDN'T BUY THE GIFT AND DIDN'T GO TO THE SHOWER....SUFFERED A MIGRAINE FOR MOST OF THAT DAY AND HID UNDER THE COVERS STILL HAVEN'T BOUGHT THE GIFT. THAT WILL BE DONE IN TIME FOR THE WEDDING...I HOPE

8. I need to take an inventory of junk under my bathroom sink to see what needs to be replenished/tossed, etc. This is always a fun job...NEEDLESS TO SAY THE CRAP IS STILL UNDER THERE

9. File taxes . I despise doing this...DONE!!!!

10. Get a haircut.....this should at least be number TWO I've been putting this off because I want to do something different but I haven't figured out exactly what yet so I don't want to cut my hair off then decide that "oh, I wish it was long enough to do THAT"....YEP...HAIR STILL SHAGGY

11. Get the oil changed in the truck. It's many miles past due While I'm at it, a good washing would do wonders....NOPE...NOT DONE...THIS REALLY NEEDS TO BE AT THE TOP OF MY LIST

12. Clean out my undies drawer. They're making babies in there.....I COULD PROBABLY START MY OWN ADOPTION AGENCY BY NOW NOT THAT ANYONE WANTS MY OLD UNDIES BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

13. Holy cow...for some reason undies reminded me that I have pajamas from Christmas that I need to exchange/return. I hope it's not too late...I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S TOO LATE BY NOW...THEY ARE RIDING AROUND THE IN BACK SEAT OF THE TRUCK

14. Fix my blog background. The picture disappeared.....TAKE A LOOK AROUND...THIS ISN'T DONE EITHER MOTICON:GOODGRIEF2]]

Ok...I really think I need to put the procrastinating behind me and get this done!!!!

Is it possible for me to have my daughter's pregnancy emotional rollercoaster?

I don't know what's up with me lately but my emotions are driving me and everyone else nuts. I've been averaging about an hour of sleep a night and that only comes in snippets of 10-15 mins here and there. With no more sleep than I'm getting, I'm surprised that I'm having the bizarre dreams that I'm having almost nightly.

I'm up and down all night long. Pretty soon I figure I'm going to have to oil the hinges of the backdoor since I'm in and out all night and the squeaking wakes the dog up. Next thing you know, the dog and I are sitting on the back porch until he leaves me to investigate something of interest

Sleep...I'm beginning to wonder what it is

Ok Terry. Here's the info on my new grandbaby to be.....

The baby is due September 17th. The 19th is the baby's great-great grandfather's birthday which would be pretty cool if he/she is born on that day. He's no longer with us so it would make it bittersweet.

Of course it's too soon to fine out the baby's sex but as soon as it's possible, my daughter wants to find out. She's not into surprises (other than the pregnancy itself

Hubby's hoping for a boy. He says him and our son are outnumbered with three females in the house. I think it's going to be a girl just to spite him


So far all is ok. She has some appointments coming up to do closer looks at things because of her having epilepsy and being on the meds. Right now it's a matter of keeping her thinking as postive as possible because she's stressing big time over the health of the baby. I refuse to think anything but positive thoughts and won't let her go into the negative zone but so much.

I guess that's all I know for now. I'll keep you posted although I might keep you hanging on the baby's s ex