Hmm…so it’s hump day. I figured since I had a short week that it would go by quicker but that is not happening so far. Was busy yesterday at work…today not so busy. Makes the day much longer. Not to mention that it frees up my mind to think when I have nothing to preoccupy it. Which means I’ve had a lot on my mind today.

Ever since the weekend, my daddy’s been floating around in there. I’ve been remembering different conversations that we had just before he passed away. Things that he said that really made me think. I don’t know if he realized that what he said would impact me the way it did or if maybe it was just at the time in my life maybe the words meant more than they would have some other time. Either way….they made an impression of some kind on me. I’m still not sure if I could pinpoint that impression but I am still working on it.

It seems like when I start to think about my daddy….lots of other stuff gets mixed up in my thoughts also. I think it has to do with the fact that I could always talk to my daddy about anything and everything and now that he’s not here to talk to I’m kinda at a loss to vent some of the stuff that’s on mind. He would listen to me completely and not judge. No matter what I told him that I had done or was thinking about doing. He had his opinions but never tried to force them on me.

I went to the river the other night to do some thinking and my daddy crossed my mind briefly. I had so many other things on my mind that I had to more or less push him out so I wouldn’t have a complete crying breakdown. I think those are the times when I miss him the most. When I need him to talk to. Although I still talk to him (and yes…I’m sure I looked like a complete nut at the river talking to myself, lol) it’s not the same of course.

Well the tears are flowing again…...geesh I am such a crybaby, lol

By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil Show, I have finally found inner peace.Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Godiva Chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

 

Went to "Potato Guy's" house yesterday for his 60th birthday party. I wasn't really looking forward to going but ended up having a pretty good time.

I played volleyball for the first time in a long time. I had forgotten what a workout that game can be. Ended up in a watergun fight with my son. I think I lost. I didn't know he could run so fast, lol. I'm actually surprised that my girls went and stayed at this party. Normally they won't even go to his house but if they do they don't want to stay long. They were having fun I assume because I didn't have them begging me to take them home, lol.

I met a man yesterday that lives not far from me that worked with my daddy years ago. My daddy passed away in '99 and sometimes just his name gets to me so when we were talking about how he knew him and different things about my daddy I got teary eyed and had to walk away. So needless to say I had a time yesterday when my daddy was really heavy on my mind but I am glad I met this man. It just makes it hard to keep the memories at bay when something like that happens. (Like now...I'm crying just trying to tell this, lol).

Well now that my face is all wet I guess I better go and start my day doing something other than feeling gloomy. It's too pretty outside for that!!

Well you filled up my head
With so many lies,
Twisted my heart
'Til something snapped inside
I'd like to give it one more try
But my give a damn's busted

You can crawl back home
Say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard
And cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted


I really wanna care
I wanna feel somethin'
Let me dig a little deeper
No, sorry...nothing


You can say you've got issues
You can say you're a victim
It's all your parents fault,I mean
After all, you didn't pick 'em
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen
My give a damn's busted

Well you're therapist says
It was all a mistake
A product of the Prozac
And your codependent ways
So, who's your enabler these days
My give a damn's busted


I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, still nothing


It's a desperate situation
No tellin' what you'll do
If I don't forgive you
You say your life is through
C'mon, give me something I can use
My give a damn's busted
Well...


I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, man...sorry

Just nothing.......no

You've really done it this time..ha ha

My give a damn's busted

Had a visit from a friend of ours (more a friend of my husband) yesterday evening. I had the pleasure (I say that lightly) of his company until my husband got home. Which ended up being almost 2 hours!!

I think we (mainly he) discussed about 10 different subjects while he was waiting. Mostly about taxes and politics…shit I don’t care to get into with anybody ……but hey…I am nice so I listen and add my opinions on this and that .

But the topic that really got me was the planting of potatoes. I have general knowledge of growing potatoes but never have done so. I am no gardener. Anyway, he’s going on and on about different kinds of potatoes and how deep to plant them and blah, blah, blah. He goes on to tell me that there were a couple of people at his house the other day and they were all discussing the right time to plant potatoes. Well one of the guys said to plant the potatoes under a dark moon and the other says to plant them under a light moon and apparently they disagreed on when to plant them so they went back and forth about when to plant them . Well I had heard enough of the potato story so I finally looked at him and asked, "How many people do you know plant potatoes in the fucking dark?" He really didn’t have much to say after that so I guess I made my point pretty well .

I don’t think I’ve ever discussed a damn potato so long in my life!!!