Have you ever had one of those days when EVERYTHING you touch turns to shit?

Well today is that day for me.

It started before I got out of bed this morning.

I woke up somewhere around 3am, freezing my ass off. Since it’s been warm during the earlier part of the week, we haven’t had any reason to start up the woodstove. Last night it got COLD. Neither hubby or I thought about starting a fire because it was fairly warm in the house when we went to bed and I don’t think either one of us realized it was going to get as cold as it did. Because of that lapse in judgement on both of our parts, my whole body was doing the shimmy and shake thing at 3am.

I tried to snuggle up next to hubby but every time I’d slide behind him, he’d twist and turn so I finally gave up on that and got up to pee.

Can we say COLD toilet seat….at 3am?????? OMG!!! I thought my ass was going to stick to the seat like the tongue of the kid on the pole from "A Christmas Story." (Ok…slight exaggeration there but you get my drift)

After doing my business, I climb back into bed (stealing all the covers from hubby) and curl up praying for sleep. It didn’t come too soon. I tossed and turned, twisted and flopped. I punched each pillow a dozen times, turning them this way, then that way. I COULD NOT get comfortable.

I thought about reading a book to try to get sleepy but then I figured I’d get caught up in the story and not want to go back to sleep so I scratched that idea. I finally just lay there, looking up at the ceiling, bitching in my head about being so stupid as not to have started a fire.

The next thought that popped into my mind was the water slides at some theme parks. The ones that are fully enclosed and your sliding through the tube on your back with your feet out in front of you. Now I have no idea where this thought came from but I got this split second picture in my mind that "What if an overly large (not sure of the PC word here) person were to get stuck inside this tube?" Once this thought entered my mind, I started breathing (literally) heavier. I have this thing about enclosed places and being stuck and all I could think about was "What if I got stuck in one of those tubes?" I’d die of a panic attack. Damn, just thinking about it had me breathing all funky. I can’t imagine actually being stuck in one of those things.

It’s funny how the mind works. That was the last thought I remember having before I dozed back off.

Once I was up for good for the day, it didn’t get any better.

I had to stop this morning and buy a birthday present for one of the ladies here at work (because I forgot about it and should have done it last night).

My oldest daughter is with me because I need to drop her off at work later in the morning. We pop into Wal-Mart (thank God for 24 hour Wally World) and I get the gift, the card, the wrappings and we’re out in about 15 minutes (not bad timing if I do say so myself).

We jump back in the car and I notice I’ve only got 5 minutes to get to work. I’m about 8 minutes from work so I think to myself "Phew…I’m only gonna be a minute or so late...not bad"

Two minutes later, I realize that I forgot to buy milk (which was on MY list of stuff to buy for the birthday thingy at work). Damn...damn...damn.…now I need to go to the other store down the road and buy a gallon of milk.

On the way to the other store, I’m ranting to my daughter about how I was just gonna say "Screw it…so what if I’m late….I’m never late….my boss is late EVERY morning….blah, blah, blah". I’m sure she was tuning me out.

Anyway, I get to the store and guess what……….NO MILK! I did notice they had beer though. The evil side of my brain thought "I should just buy a case of beer and say happy fucking birthday………the case is MINE." But the nice part of the brain thought better of that scenario so I bought sodas instead.

I get back in the car and tell my daughter, "I hope this is not going to be how the rest of my day goes"

I should have KNOWN right then that it would be. Murphy’s Law follows me around like my shadow.

 

 

I finally get to work, 15 minutes late. I sit the present on the floor in the other ladies office, tell her "Happy Birthday" and come to my desk to put my stuff down. I ask my daughter where the birthday card was (I still needed to sign it). She proceeds to tell me that it was in the bag with her present. Well that’s just fucking great. I had to go back in her office, dig in her birthday bag and retrieve the unsigned card…all while she’s looking at me like "What the fuck are you doing rummaging around in MY present?"

I sign the card, stuff it back in the back and pat myself on the back for not buying that case of beer (which was looking better and better by the moment).

Once the whole birthday cake and ice cream thing was out of the way, I was ready to start my workday.

After I nudge my daughter from my desk chair, I flop and get my computer going. I take a deep breath and think "Finally, let’s get this day started on a better note."

Wrong…wrong…wrong……

NOTHING wanted to work this morning. It must be the Good Friday thing. Even the computer thought it should be a vacation day. None of the programs wanted to come up and I spent an hour fighting UPS to track a package. And they want to know what Brown can do for me?" Brown can’t do a damn thing FOR me but I know what I’d like to tell Brown to do.

So by this time, it’s time for me to leave and take my daughter to work and carry myself off to the dentist for my week check-up after the gum surgery.

I’m carrying on a conversation with my daughter while we’re going down the road and the next thing I notice is that I took a wrong turn. Not a major mistake, because I can still get her to work from the wrong turn direction, it’s just slightly out of the way but it irritated the hell out of me.

I drop her off at work and pull back onto the road only to see MILES of cars in front of me. Well fuck!! There is no other way around the traffic to go where I need to go so I am stuck. Inch…creep…inch….creep. And not even a decent radio in the piece of shit car I am driving right now. All I get is fuzz or static filled tunes. There is nothing worse than being stuck in traffic with nothing to listen to.

I finally get to my appointment and on time. I was surprised.

I didn’t even to get to warm up the waiting room chair before they called me to the back. Which is cool. I absolutely HATE waiting rooms. I get to the back, sit in those ridiculous chairs and the girl wraps that blue bib thing around my neck, snagging my hair. "That’s ok honey, I didn’t need hair in THAT spot anyway."

While I’m waiting for the dentist to come poke his fingers in my still sore mouth, I’m looking around the room. They have some really weird looking shit in a dentist office. No wonder I need drugs to walk into one. Some of that stuff looks pretty lethal.

Anyway…as my eyes move about the room, I notice there are two holes in the wall. I have no idea how or why they are there. They just are. It looks like someone tried to patch them but didn’t do a very good job. I’m thinking to myself, "Hmm..wonder what the dentist will do with all that fucking money he just got out of me because he damn sure isn’t investing in décor and repairs."

Oh well…at least my gums are healing like they should.

After I leave the dentist office, I notice that the gas gauge is hovering just BELOW the E. Holy crap…I hope it makes it to the gas station.

It does. I pull up next to the pump, get out, go around the car, twist the cap off the the tank, turn around to get the pump going and there in big bold letters………."OUT OF ORDER." Well isn’t that just fucking wonderful!!!

Well let’s just say that I let go with a string of not so lovely words at this point and apparently was a little louder than I thought because I got some strange looks from an elderly gentleman across the way from me.

I smiled, got back in the car and pulled up to the next pump, got my gas and went back to work.

That brings me to the here and now.

I’m sitting here refusing to do much of anything other than vent my frustrations out here and counting down the hours until I can go back and buy that case of beer.

 

It’s only after 10am and I am so ready to climb back into bed.

I've been up for 5 hours and it feels like 2 days.  I didn’t sleep well last night and on top of that my oldest wakes me up at 5am so I can do her hair.

She’s in the fashion show at school today and wanted her hair done ‘differently’ than she always wears it. That’s why we got up so early.

I’m not a hair doer type of person but anytime she has these things for school (i.e. fashion show, homecoming dance, etc.) I’m the one that does her hair.

It typically takes about 2 hours to get each curl just right but we condensed all that crap this morning down into 1 hour. I was

I don’t suggest wielding any type of ‘ironing’ devices at such an early time of day. It’s still dark out, I’m still half asleep and not wanting to play hairdresser in the first place, I end up laying the curling irons (yes, two of them) across my lap and burning my leg and my ankle (I was sitting with my legs crossed in the chair).  Not to mention all the hairspray floating about sticking to everything.  I felt like Mork from Mork and Mindy.  Nanu-Nanu.  Holy cow...I need sleep, I'm referencing flippin' Mork!! 

Anyyywayy....I didn’t even get to take a picture of her all made up in her outfit because, as she said, "I ain’t putting them clothes on now and messing up my hair, then I’ll look like crap by the time I get on stage."

After that little speech, I’m thinking to myself, "Well gee honey, I didn’t want to get burned, lose sleep, get puffy eyes, get sticky hands from hairspray, at 5am, AND not have enough time to get MYSELF ready for work, just for the hell of it, but it’s all good…..I only wanted picture proof of the hell you put me through this morning but that’s ok……..You’ll have a daughter one day!" (*evil laugh*)

Ok…it was only a split second thought and I felt bad after I thought it.

If you overlooked her back t-shirt and jeans that she was sporting this morning, her little nest of curls on top of her head was very pretty. I only wish I could have seen the whole thing from top to bottom and I know by the time she gets out of school, those clothes and hair will be history.

Ohhh well...the life of a mom

 

 

 

 

I walked into Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that read: "Buy-one-get-one-free". "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free." She handed my sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They walk among us!

 

A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of the old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. My friend decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale, $50." The next day someone stole it.

They walk among us!

 

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"

They walk among us!

 

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

They walk among us!

 

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive down to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

They walk among us!

 

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in her trunk.

They walk among us!

 

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big part, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They walk among us!

 

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me no to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked, "has your plane arrived yet?"

They walk among us!

 

While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man orderind a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

They walk among us!

 

And one from my very own experience:

 

I was over a friend's house one day when another friend decided to call 411 (information) to get the number to the KFC his mom worked at. He told the operator which road it was on and the operator then asked him which KFC...there was more than one on that road. He then responds with "The one with the big tree in the front."

I have no idea if he ever got the number or not because I was laughing so hard I couldn't even think straight.

Believe it or not they really do walk among us and sometimes closer than we realize!!

Students charged in classroom sex case

By Sharryn Harvey

 

Four of five Spearsville High School fifth-graders were arrested Tuesday on obscenity charges following reports last week of children having sex in a classroom, Union Parish Sheriff Bob Buckley said.

Two of the fifth-grade students are accused of having sex, two are accused of fondling.

An 11-year-old girl from Spearsville, a 12-year-old boy from Junction City and a 13-year-old boy from Spearsville were charged with obscenity and released to their parents, Buckley said. An 11-year-old Junction City boy, who was the lookout, was charged with accessory after the fact to obscenity late Tuesday.

An 11-year-old Lillie female will be charged with obscenity when she returns from an out-of-parish trip, Buckley said.

The five are accused of participating in sexual acts in their classroom March 27 while their teacher was in a morning assembly at the school.

"Our investigation indicated that the incident occurred at approximately 9 a.m. Tuesday (March 27)," Buckley said. "A student from this class told a high school student about the incident on Wednesday afternoon." "The high school student went to a teacher and reported it just prior to school being dismissed for the day," Buckley said. "Our juvenile officer was contacted Wednesday evening by the principal of the school and received the allegations," Buckley said.

The sheriff's office investigation began Thursday morning, Buckley said.

Buckley said no charges can be brought against the parents of the five.

"When the kids are at school, they relinquish all responsibility to the administration," Buckley said. "We can't do anything but look into what goes on at home. We can't charge the parents with what happened at the school.

" The children will then have a juvenile hearing to determine what punishment, if any, they will receive, Buckley said.

 

 

My first reaction to this was...WTF were these kids thinking????

I don't remember even THINKING about sex at age 11 or 12 much less would I have 'done the act' in front of the whole class!!

I can't imagine getting THAT call from school.

 

Aside from that....

 

What do you think?......

Should the parents be held responsible for what the kids did? 

Should the school administration be held responsible?

Should the kids be punished and what should the punishment be?

 

 

 

I pulled the plug on this baby

Apparently people can't see it and I've lost my patience enough for one day to do anything about it.

Sorry folks.

You'll just have to always wonder