Happy Friday 13th!!!! Good luck and be safe I'm off to the river again. Have a good weekend!!

Perception versus Opinion

Is there really a difference?

I’m sitting here at my desk looking at all the little notes posted to the side of my computer.

There are seven notes posted. Five of them are doctor’s appointments from now through November. The other two are phone numbers.

As I’m flipping through the stack of doctor’s appointments (I layer them in chronological order), I’m thinking about how sometimes it really sucks to be a woman.

I just had a mammogram done not long ago and now it’s time for my yearly visit to the dreaded crotch doc. Not a pretty term, I know, but hey, it’s what the hell he is.

Some things I don’t quite understand about the crotch doc though…….

 

**Why bother putting on that teeny tiny little gown when he’s going to see and feel everything under it anyway? I see myself naked everyday. Do they think it embarrasses me to see my boobs? Or does it embarrass the doc? Why not just flop up on the bed bare assed and be done with it? The doc is doing all intimate things (not the feel good intimate either) to my body that require no clothes so why cover it? It’s just a waste of time and energy to shed your street clothes then try to fight those itty bitty gowns over your head just to have it lifted up to your boobs within the next five minutes. What the hell is the point?

**Aside from the teeny tiny little gown…why do they throw that sheet over your knees while the doc is doing his/her thing? Guess what people…I’ve seen THAT too. I do believe I know what it looks like and it’s not like I can’t tell what the hell the hand is doing down there anyway. So who is the sheet for? Me or the doc? Hell, the nurse that’s in the room has the same equipment I have so what’s the big deal? What exactly goes on behind that ‘curtain’? My guess is the doctor is making googlie eyes at the nurse. Fuck if I know…I only know the whole thing is absurd.

**This one kills me. First the doc tells me to relax. Then after he has started doing his thing, he starts with the questions. How’s the kids? How’s the hubby? How’s the job?…… What the fuck? This isn’t fucking twenty question time. How the hell am I supposed to relax? Docs talking about my kids, my husband and my job all while having his fingers somewhere where they aren’t wanted and wants me to relax. Is he fucking stupid or what? Let me shove my fingers up his ass, then ask how the wife, kids and job are going. I wonder how much he would relax while I’m bombarding questions at him while doing the exam. He just needs to shut the fuck up and do what he’s supposed to do. I don’t need him trying to be my buddy. I don’t even like him to begin with so being my buddy is totally out of the question.

**That ‘plastic’ paper shit that covers the table…just what is that protecting anyone from? I must think too much about shit like this, I don’t know. It just freaks me out to have to lay my ass on some other table where other women have had THEIR asses. Paper or not. That paper doesn’t even cover the WHOLE table. There’s about an inch on each side that is exposed. What happens when an overly large woman has her ass on the table? You mean to tell me her ass doesn’t hang OFF of the paper? Bullshit. This is why I wipe the edge of the bed down BEFORE anything of my bare body is going to do any touching. No way…ain’t happening.

 

Ok…well enough of my ranting about something that needs to be done. The truth is the truth though. It’s the one doctor visit that I absolutely abhor with every fiber of my being but I know it must be done so I suck it up and count all the little wholes in the ceiling tiles while I’m flat on my back trying my best to ignore the doctor.

 

Useless bit of trivia….There are about 475 holes in one ceiling tile.

Not much to say about my vacation but I did make it back. Shriveled, tan and maybe, just maybe a few less gray hairs

It was a much needed break from everything.

Aside from that....

While on vacation, my husband fell in love.

Nope...not with me.

My computer..or I should say a certain website that monopolized a lot of his time while we were off.

I can't remember the name of the site but it's one that you can buy, sell and trade stuff on...I think. Anyway...after his discovery of this site, he decides to start posting stuff to sell, trade or whatever.

I was trying to read my book and he kept interrupting me to ask me how to do this or how to do that. I think it took me an hour to read three pages because of all the interruptions from him.

I left him to do his thing while I continued to read. I dozed off at some point and when I woke up, my husband was just beside himself with happiness. Like a kid that just brought home a straight A.

My system goes on automatic alert when he gets that way. Still foggy eyed with sleep, I ask him what the hell he did. He goes on to explain that, with the help of my daughter, he posted some ads with pictures.

So after a few seconds of sinking in...it finally hits me and I ask him, "What the hell did you post on this site?"

He then gives me the run down...yes...a running list, as in counting off the fingers and naming items. GPS, dresser, blah, blah, the car.

WTF? The car?

He stands there smiling proudly and says "Yeah, I put the car on there...with a picture."

Well shit...am I supposed to give him a gold star now or what?

Selling the car isn't really that big of a deal since we had already talked about getting rid of it anyway but it just kind of threw me for a minute since I didn't think it was actually finalized between us.

While I'm absorbing the fact that my car is floating around for sale on the internet somewhere, I just look at my husband and say, "Well, it's a damn good thing I woke up when I did or else, I probably wouldn't have a bed to sleep in with all the happy little posting you've been doing."

I have no idea if he's had any luck with any of the stuff he posted but I do know he's become a computer hog and we just can't have that. He's interferring with my blogging time

Happy, Happy Friday!!

Uh oh..today is Thursday....It is MY Friday though. I am on vacation starting, technically, at 4:30pm today..

I don't have much in the way of plans to do anything other than head to the river for a few days to soak up some fun in the sun.

I have my essenstials

 

And not to worry...

I have my trusty side kick to save me from peril

 

Well...looks like he had way too much fun.

 

There is always a plan C when going on a river adventure

 

But before I can begin anything remotely in the shape of fun.......I think I need to go bathing suit shopping first.

 

 

 

I will be in and out for the next week and have no idea if I will get to catch up with anyone or have time to post.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and a Happy 4th!!!!

I do have to wish my youngest daughter happy birthday.  She will be 17 on July 3rd

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLI!!!