*In Oblong, Illinois, it’s punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day
(Now there's a dream sexual encounter)
*No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minn. if his wife so requests, law so mandates that he brush his teeth
(I thought this was a HUMAN law)
*Bozeman, Mont. has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown—if they’re nude
(Does this mean as long as they aren’t NUDE, then the law doesn’t apply? What if it’s BEFORE sundown? What if they’re on the porch? Is the porch considered part of the FRONT yard? What if they’re getting in on in BACK yard? What if it’s not members of the opposite sex?….This law is not very well defined)
*In hotels in Sioux, S.D., every room is required to have twin beds. The beds must always be a minimum of 2 feet apart when a couple rents a room for one night. It’s illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.
(Aside for the fact that 2 feet isn’t that much space to be having a healthy dose of lovemaking…Who the hell wants to have sex on the FLOOR of the hotel room? I’m sure that is worse than the bed but then again…maybe not)
*In Hastings, Neb., no couple, even if they are married, are allowed to sleep together in the nude
(Who enforces this law? Do they post deputies outside of everyone's windows at night to make sure the law is upheld?)

*An antique law in Norfolk, VA says a woman can’t go without wearing a corset

But on the other hand….
*In Merryville, MO., women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male
(Well who am I to deny the normal, red-blooded American male?)
(Uncorseted in all it’s glory)
(They may want to rethink THAT law)
*Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, police aren’t allowed to walk up and knock on a car window. Any office who suspects that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately 2 minutes before getting out of his car to investigate
(Who says the law doesn’t have a little respect? If he’d show up with a beer and a cigarette he might even get a promotion)
*Another law in Helena, Mont., mandates that a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has at least 3 pounds, 2 ounces of clothing on
(I’m guessing this chickypoo would be breaking the law.)
(No. Wait. I do believe her BOOTS pass the required weight)
*Lovers in Liberty Comer, NJ should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, they can face a jail term
(HELLOOOOOO......there is a BACKSEAT people. No horn back there)
*If you’re a single, divorced or widowed woman, you can’t parachute on Sunday afternoons in Florida.
(That’s because all the married ladies have reserved the "holy" chutes...duh!!!)
*Women aren’t allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, OH because he might see something "he oughtn’t"
(or maybe it’s to protect the ladies from seeing something "she oughtn’t")
*In Cali, Columbia, a woman may only have sex with her husband and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act
(Does the mother score the act? 7 for technique, 10 for difficulty, 6 for presentation?)
*The penalty for pleasuring oneself in Indonesia is decapitation
(This might be preferable to a bad score from the mother or mother-in-law but wouldn’t it be just as wise not to spread your business about the streets of Indonesia if that is the said punishment. Really. Who goes around on the streets or in public places after a good round of self-pleasuring saying "Hey guess what I just did?")
*In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally permitted to kill her husband but may do so only with her bare hands. She may kill her husband’s lover, on the other hand, in any manner she desires.
(There are some laws that the US should adopt)
*The only acceptable sexual position in Washington, DC is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is illegal.
(I knew there was something about Capitol Hill that just didn’t interest me)
*In the state of Washington, it is illegal to have sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding)
(Ok. How does the state of Washington stay populated?)