I’m slightly disappointed.
I didn’t get to go to the gay club Friday because they all decided not to go out Friday. Well damn..the one time I finally decide to hit the town with them, they don’t want to go. 
Oh well, shit happens.
Instead of going out, I hung out at a friend’s house. Every year he has a party for his birthday. He cooks a pig every year and on the Friday before the party he picks it up. Once the pig gets back to his house the party starts. People in the neighborhood stop by to bullshit, drink some beer and look at the pig like they’ve never seen one. This always amazes me. He’s been doing this every year for at least 10 years and every year the same people have to get a glimpse of the pig before he starts to cook it. They always comment on how pretty it is. It’s a pig that’s been gutted. 
There is NOTHING pretty about that.
They always ask him how much it weighs (think your belly can hold ALL of that?
), how much did it cost (planning on chipping in some money for it? 
), what time will he start cooking it (gonna help cook it?
). They ask the same questions EVERY year. It amuses the hell out of me that people can get so enraptured over a dead pig. 
Do they look at porkchops the same way and bug the hell out of the butcher with their questions?
Oh well, enough of the piggy.
The actual party was Saturday. He always has a pretty good crowd there but this year I think there were more people than usual. We didn’t get there until around 5pm and the party was already underway. There were about 15 boys trying to play football in their yard until someone sent them over the neighbor’s yard across the street to play. Hope the neighbor didn’t mind. Anyway, they were occupied all day with football. The only time we saw them was when they needed food and drink.
I was the unofficial picture taker. 
I was taking pictures of anyone and every one. I have no idea who a lot of the people were but I’m sure they hated me by the end of the night with all the flashing going off in their faces. I’ve got about 80 pictures to go through and download. I’ve got to figure out who gets what pictures (a couple of people gave me email addresses to send them to). Now if I can only put the right email with the right faces in the photos, I’ll be set. Should be a pain in my ass when I get around to doing that. I just hope I get to it done before his party next year.
I did get to have a new experience later that night though. Since I’m pretty much always game for trying something new, our friend’s daughter asked me if I wanted to help her deliver on her newspaper route that night. Sure why the hell not. I wanted to throw some papers. Of course by the time she asked me this I was about 3 sheets to the wind so I’m sure it sounded a little more exciting to me than it actually was. 
We get to the warehouse to pick up her papers, walk in and go to this table with stacks and stacks of papers on it. She hands me yellow bags and I’m thinking to myself “Why are you giving these to me?” I must have had an odd look on my face when she handed me the bags. She looked at me and the following conversation took place
Her: “You roll up the newspaper and put it in the bag.”
Me: “No shit, I know what the fucking bag is for”
Her: (laughs) “You were looking at it like you didn’t know what to do with it”
Me: “You really want me to roll papers and put ‘em in the bag?”
Her: “Yeah”
Me: “Fuck, I don’t want to do any work. I just want to throw some paper”
Her: “So help bag the papers and we can get out of here faster and you can throw a damn paper”
Ok…yes…stupid conversation but it’s about 3:30 in the morning and I’m pretty much drunk. I can only imagine that I was like a little bratty kid not wanting to do a chore but I sucked it up and helped. I wanted to throw a paper dammit. 
We finally get all the papers bagged and in the car. I have a space just big enough to squeeze my ass into. Good thing I’m not a big girl or I wouldn’t have fit. Anyway, we finally start delivering the papers. She turns a corner and tells me to get ready to throw one from my side of the car. I’ve got my paper ready to throw. I’m excited. She rolls down the wrong window and a few of the papers fall out of the window onto the street. We stop; I get out laughing my ass off (not sure why) and pick up the papers. We continue on down the street. I’ve still got my paper ready to throw. I finally toss it in the driveway where she tells me to throw it. The paper hits the driveway with a thud and I’m in the backseat pumping my fist saying “Woohoo…gimme another one.” I throw two or three more papers without incident and the same enthusiasm. The next paper hits the driveway and bounced into the ditch. Uh oh. 
I offered to get out and put it back in the driveway but she told me not to worry about it. I even offered to throw another one but she wouldn’t let me do that either. (So if that was anyone’s paper…. I am so sorry for making you walk two feet to the right….. Oh..and if it smells like beer, I didn’t do it) . The rest of the route went just peachy. 
We finished delivering all of the papers and called it a night.
I get home around 5:45am Sunday morning. It was freezing in my house because hubby didn’t start a fire when he got home and I guess everyone was too weak from malnutrition to actually lift an arm and turn the knob for the heat to come on. I mistakenly took my jeans off before I actually found my PJ bottoms. I was walking around my room half-naked with 3 inch goosebumps all over my legs trying to find my PJ’s. While I’m wandering around my room and plundering through my dresser drawers for my PJ’s, I’m muttering to myself about the damn house being so fucking cold and how I couldn’t believe no one turned the damn heat on and how I wished icicles would form between their toes over night. 
There are so many times when I’m glad when I do stupid shit no one is around to witness it. 
Sounds like a good time to me. 
