It’s amazing to me that we, as humans, can communicate as well as we do when there are so many emotions controlling our thoughts at times that the wrong thing almost always comes out of our mouths at the wrong time.  Ok..guess that's not really a fair statement.  I can't speak for all humans but I will speak for myself in this matter.  I almost, always open my mouth before thinking.  Fire, ready, aim is how it works with me.

Why is it that you can mean something completely different than what comes out verbally?  I think certain things and they either come out mixed up or way off track.  Or is it that they are taken in the wrong context?  Who's to say.  This happens to me right often so it's like a mystery to me.  One I'm sure I'll never figure out but is still there regardless.  

As I mentioned, I have a bad (maybe not so bad) habit of saying what’s on my mind. I have hurt many feelings like this and have also pissed many people off. So I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not. It’s good for me in some ways because it’s off my chest but then I feel bad for hurting people’s feelings or whatever the case is. Usually if I piss someone off it’s because I’ve told the truth and it hits home but not always.

Since I am aware of this part of me, I do try to control my tongue but at times it is completely beyond my control. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to apologize to someone for saying the wrong thing.  I never apologize for what I mean, just the fact that it comes out like it does sometimes.   

There are times when I know when not to comment.  These are the clear cut cases when I know what I am thinking will really hurt someone or make them angry so I keep my mouth shut, unless I am asked my thoughts about a topic.  Then I tell them.  If they get pissed after that it's on them, not me.  The way I look at those situations it that if you don't want to know or think you might not like my answers then don't ask the question.  It's much easier on everyone that way.  And be careful what you ask also.  Make sure you really want to know the answer because I will tell you the answer to your question.  You just may not like that answer either.  

Sometimes it seems like apologizing is a way of life for me.  I've hurt so many feelings and made so many people angry that it boggles my mind sometimes.  I am not proud of this and I'm sure I will continue to have to apologize to people for the rest of my life.  This is just part of who I am and I don't know that I would change it even if I could.  What good does holding your thoughts in?  Absolutely nothing!!!  If you don't tell people what you are thinking then how the hell do they know what's on your mind??? 

If I could control my tongue better then I probably wouldn't have to apologize so much but then I'd have this huge 'ball' inside just eating me up.  I know that doesn't make it right to purposely hurt someone's feelings and I do not intend to hurt feelings and piss people off but it happens at times and the only thing I can do in a case like that is to apologize for what I said or try to explain.

I will say this much though, if I have balls enough to apologize for something I’ve said to offend someone or whatever the case is and admit that I am wrong then human decency requires that said person to respond in kind with at least an acknowledgement of the apology. Doesn’t mean you have to accept it but at least let someone know that you heard and listened.