I think Imiscalculated the arrival date of Chloe's puppies. I had figured that it would be toward the end of June but it appears that it's going to be anyday. Possibly even TODAY!! We shall see!!

I had two dreams over the weekend. The first dream had Chloe having four puppies and the other had her having eight. Wow...if I dream again will it be 12???

Well, I'll let you know what happens on the Chloe front.

Talked to my daughter last night about the whole school thing.  By the time I got home I wasn't quite as angry with her.  Other than the fact that she lied to me.  That gets to me.  Anyway, we talk about the whole lying thing and we're straight.  I have overall good kids so I really can't complain but I do expect the truth from them no matter what it is.  I can deal with any situation as long as they lay it on the line for me.

Oh well, enough of that.

I realized that today is or would've been my daddy's 73rd birthday.  I haven't been to the cemetery in almost 6 years (I think).  I doubt that I make it today either.  Maybe for Father's Day.  Who knows.  It's a hard place for me to go.  He knows I miss him and I don't need to go there to talk to him.  

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last.

OMG…..I am SOOOOOO angry with my oldest daughter right now. I got a call from her chemistry teacher telling me she wasn’t in her class today. WHAT? Where the hell was she? I finally get in touch with her and she tries to tell me she was in class. C’mon….do I look like I was born this morning. Good Lord….give me some credit. I’ve been there and done that!!

Well she tries for about 3 or 4 minutes to tell me basically the teacher is full of shit…that she was in class today. Every time she tells me that she was there in class, my blood pressure is rising because she’s lying to me. Pisses me off!!! After raising my voice to her and basically telling her to get off the bullshit ride…she then changes her story and tells me that her and another friend of hers were in the school parking lot for the class period. DOING FUCKING WHAT????? Free car washes. Yeah right!!!

I was so angry by this point that I just told her to stay off of everything (phone, computer, etc.) until I told her otherwise. I’d deal with her when I got home from work!!! Oh boy!!! Can’t wait to here this one!!! Maybe she’ll actually come up with something believable.

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office... but she belonged to someone else...

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you..." but the girl said "NO."

Johnny said "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.... so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down.

She agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...

She said "The bastard used quarters!"

Management lesson:

Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed