SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

"I 've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

 

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

 

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate fami ly, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Not much leaves me speechless but I just don't know what to say about these....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My youngest daughter and I are THINKING about going to a Christmas boat parade tonight.

People decorate their boats with Christmas lights and parade down the river for about 12 miles. They've been doing this for about 10 years but we've never been. I usually don't hear about it until AFTER the parade.

It should be pretty cool but it's going to be FREEZING outside tonight and feel even colder with the wind coming off the river I think we're supposed to have a temp of about 14 degrees

The cold weather is the one thing that makes me rethink the whole boat parade thing Since I really, really HATE cold weather

I told my daughter that if we go, I'll wrap up in layers and layers of clothes and end up looking like the kid from "A Christmas Story" I won't be able to move and I'll probably fall over and have to look up at the stars until help arrives

I'm thinking maybe we should just go get our tree, come back home where it's nice and WARM and spend the evening decorating it

But you only live once so maybe we will go and freeze our parts off, come home, THEN decorate the tree (providing we're not frozen in time down at the river)

I had yesterday and today off. So right now it's feeling like Sunday to me

I have no idea what that little bit of info had to do with anything but there it is.

Topic on the brain as of now is oldest and her boyfriend.

Yesterday, he wanted her to come over after school but she decided to go Christmas shopping with me.

All is good right.

NOT

Anyway, I ask her to put her phone away while we're shopping (in other words...tell her boyfriend this is HER time). She tells me that she told him that she's shopping and she'll talk to him later.

I guess he doesn't get the hint.

He keeps sending her text messages throughout the day. They end up arguing about something . I'm guessing he's pouting because she's not spending time with him.

I don't really say a whole lot to her yesterday. Trying to let her figure things out for herself.

Today, he wanted her to come over again but I had plans and wouldn't be able to pick her up in time for him to go to work.

I get home later this evening and she's on the phone with him. I can tell they are or have been arguing. She looks like she's been crying .

In the meantime, I talk to her daddy and he mentions to me that him and the boyfriend need to have a talk . He sees the same things that I see.

The boyfriend doesn't want her to do anything 'away' from him, even if it's with her family and he gets mad if she TALKS to any other guys.

THEY ARE FUCKING TEENAGERS!!!!!!!

I'm not liking this little ass at the moment. I think he is too demanding of my daughter's time and he makes her upset wayy tooo much, in my eyes. She doesn't need that type of stress right now. Hell, if ever.

Life is way too short for her to deal with this shit.

But I am only the Mom...and the more I say, the more distance it puts between me and my daughter.

I can only tell her what I think (to a certain point) and hope she comes to her senses. (Which I think she's starting to see . She did mention today that she didn't like having a boyfriend )

I am so going to hell for thinking evil thoughts