There are certain things that I don’t like but I’ve never really thought of myself as having a real phobia.

That is until this past Saturday night.

I’ve never been a huge fan of heights and certain heights do bother me but I’ve never had fear grip me like it did on Saturday.

We were at the Monster Truck show inside the Coliseum. Our seats were only three rows from the very top. Walking up them didn’t bother me and even when I first sat down it wasn’t that bad. I got screwed when hubby was talking to my son about the catwalk that was up above us and my natural instinct was to look up and see what he was talking about.

MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

I looked up and it was like the floor, seats and everything fell out from under me. NOT a good feeling. I couldn’t quite convince myself that I wasn’t going to fall and my stomach wouldn’t stop churning. I had this amazing death grip on the arms of the seat and I was pushing my body as far down in the seat as I could get.

Hubby and the kids are looking at me and asking me if I’m ok and all I could do was shake my head. I couldn’t even speak. The final straw was when my daughter looked at hubby and said, “Daddy, that’s pitiful”. At that point, the tears started rolling. I still don’t know if it was because of the absolute fear that had taken over or if it was because that fear happened in front of my kids.

The only thing I know is that I couldn’t move a muscle for more than an hour, even though hubby tried to get me to walk back down the steps. The fear had me immobilized and I’ve never felt fear like before and I hope like hell I never do.

All I know is that I absolutely WILL NOT be going anywhere above my height to stand, sit, lay or whatever. Nope. Ain’t happening.

These little tootsies will stay firmly planted on flat ground from now on.

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation and said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.

There's nothing like spending 45 minutes spilling your guts onto the screen with a really good post then having it disappear

 

This is where I insert me stomping my feet, steam coming out of my ears, and the very beginnings of some really bad language coming out of my mouth

 

 

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I was going back reading a few of my past posts and came across one about my mama and how she can't say certain words right if her life depended on it.

She has been this way ever since I can remember. She knows the words and how to spell them but for whatever reason, she just cannot pronounce them right.

I'm not talking about just a different type of accent on the word but pronouncing it wrong altogether.

Some examples:

maryanna sauce = marinara sauce

wrench = rinse

jar = jaw

These are just a few that she repeatedly mispronounces but the one that absolutely kills me and pisses me off is my son's name.

It's not complicated. His name is Kent. She calls him Ken (minus the T). His name has been Kent for 16 years. We haven't changed the spelling or pronunciation of it since birth so I really don't understand why, in the past few years, she cannot (or will not) say his name right and when you correct her on it...she says "I know what his name is, that's what I said....Kent".

There is NO arguing with her in a situation like this unless I want to lose my temper and say things that shouldn't be said but damn...it really irritates me.

Now my question is.......

Is this mispronunciation of words hereditary?

If so, it skipped me and my brother and went straight to my oldest daughter

I've caught her saying 'wrench' a few times in the past few weeks. When I bring it to her attention, she looks at me and says, "No way, did I?......OMG....I'm turning into Nanny"

My response to her is "You thought I was going to turn into Nanny? I think you've beat me to it

I don't know how to post an eyeroll and a sneer but that's what I get back

Sometimes there are just some things that men shouldn't do.

Or maybe it's just MY man

For Valentine's Day hubby put together a "goody bag" or what I refer to as my "Valentine Stocking". Since he knows my favorite part of Christmas is my stocking, he figured he would go the same route for Valentine's Day...but in a bag.

Good thinking on his part.

I have to say, he did pretty good (mostly). In the bag was a card, lotion, candy, a single rose, foundation makeup, (2) different kinds of pressed powder, liquid eyeliner, mascara and another type of eyeliner, eyeshadow brushes, a button down dress shirt, dress pants and a pair of black hose/sock things. All things that I've said I've needed or wanted recently.

At least I know he listens to me or either gets tired of me bitching about needing new makeup and clothes but I didn't have the heart to tell him that I don't wear liquid foundation, pressed powder or liquid eyeliner but at least he got the coloring right on them in case push comes to shove and I have to use them

When I got the pants, I couldn't bite my tongue. I loved the pants but when I looked at the size, I busted out laughing. He just looked at me like I'd lost my mind and asked what was so funny. I asked him how big he thought my ass was and he said "Just right, why" (good answer by the way ). I went on to explain to him that the size he bought was twice my size. He laughed and said he doesn't really go by the size on stuff, he "eyeballs" it (which made my mind question, once again, how big he thinks my butt is) He also said that he saw something on the tag that said AVG so he figured that meant average, so that's what he got . I had to explain to him that the AVG he saw meant the length NOT the size of the pants themselves. They don't come in small, average and large

Men....gotta love 'em..........but keep 'em out of the makeup isle and out of the women's clothing department